"CLUB NOTES"
"Earlier in the season it was observed that Blackheath were a competent side needing that little bit extra to make them into a formidable one. The recent results confirm that the little bit extra has not yet been found. The three away matches with London Irish, Northampton and Wasps have all been lost, yet none of the defeats has been decisive."
"Against Wasps, the 'Sunday Times' making one of its occasional appearances, awarded us the first half on points (metaphorically speaking that is) but was not impressed with our play in the second half. The long and the short is that 2 merit table matches have been played and 2 lost."
"The visitors today are Newport who lost last week to Cardiff. Some of the stories told about this fixture are repeated by so many different people they must be true. Some years ago, Peter Thome (who all the O.F.'s talk about in revered tones) almost scored a decisive try at Crystal Palace. Apparently he was put clear, ran round behind the posts, lost his bearings and grounded the ball in front of the posts. Revered or not, it is rumoured that the other parts of his bearings were removed after the match."
"Last Sunday, the Rectory Field heard again the merry tinkle of Chris Benstead's caressing voice, and resounded to the sonorous tones of gentle Frank McCarthy. The Golden Oldies Junior Colts had started their season. Leslie Byrne, on leave from the Desert, has gained a paunch but lost no skill. A decisive victory was achieved against the Stags. Nobody knows who they were, but since it was a victory it has been designated an O.F.'s merit table match."
"Sunday also saw the Bill Tucker Kicking Competition won by that Baby Faced Pensioner John Holroyd, who was trying without success, to dis-associate himself from the Golden Oldies."
"Lastly, delightful Ann Williamson and the Social Committee, organised a super barbecue. Equally lastly, the Golden Oldies were collectively overwhelmed by the large and sparkling eyes of Miss British Caledonian."
"Really lastly, Jim Campbell reminds me that Whitbread Breweries and the Hare & Billet must be thanked for donating the match ball. Also, the Hare & Billet are shortly opening a new Wine Bar on the existing premises. All Club members and friends are welcome."
"STOP PRESS. Chris 'Blodwyn' Morgan, who is interested in these things, wants Mrs. Kibble to get a mention for producing a son. 'Blodywn' also said there were to be no jokes about 'scoring'."
"For the Coventry game on the 31st October, the Club are inviting all past and present members to celebrate a reunion. Details to follow."